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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

It's Time for Testing

It's finally time for testing.
Next week Monday (if his blood work says it's ok...), Carl has two MRI's and a CAT scan scheduled to see how the tumor is responding to the radiation and chemotherapy. (Carl says they are going to test him to see if he learned anything yet.)

I think back to tests in High School and College. You could study and prepare for tests, and therefore control the outcome. Here, when the outcome is critical, we can't even influence the result. We can pray, (and many, many prayers are being said and have been said), and we can hope.

And then I feel I shouldn't need to hope, prayer should be enough. I worry that I am undoing the results of prayer by wondering if the praying is "working".

(in Mark 9:23 Jesus says "... Everything is possible for him who believes." from Mark 9:24 "the boy's father exclaimed, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!")

Prayer has helped me in life, particularly in recent years. (OK, I'm not sure I really prayed with any expectations or hopes as a child, although being raised Catholic meant you prayed nearly daily, at meals and at night, etc.) I believe in the power of prayer. I have "experimented" with prayer and been amazed, (startled?) by the (bizarre?) "coincidences" that have resulted. Coincidences? NOT. But praying away cancer seems so much harder. I know others who have "beaten" cancer, I want that result so badly, yet I am worried that I won't "be lucky".

I take comfort in this passage from Isaiah 55:8-9:

"My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher then the earth,
So are my ways higher then your ways
And my thoughts higher the your thoughts."

Like an adult smiling down at a child's understanding, this passage encourages me that God will smile down at my worries, my childlike feelings on prayer. He won't let my momentary doubts undo the passionate praying that has been going on, including prayers by some really strong believers, pastors, and church elders.

from Matthew 17:20 "... I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Many of those prayers have been from some of the most faithful people I know.

James 5:14-15 "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up."

Several pastors and faithful elders have prayed over Carl, laying hands on him and saying prayers of healing.

Catholic Memorial High School and over seven churches have said prayers for Carl, including Crossroads Presbyterian, Alliance Bible Church, St Mary's, Heritage Presbyterian, and more, and (hopefully) pastors in 3 different states.

I hope and pray that the MRI's and CAT scans on Monday afternoon, Feb 22, 2010, will show healing, and perhaps even a miracle; and I thank you once again for your prayers.

6 comments:

Tina said...

Thank you for sharing the update and your feelings. We all want Carl to be healed and I can sympathize how difficult it is for you and him at being unable to control the outcome. It's okay to hope along with prayer, it's okay to ask God to help you in your "unbelief" as I think it has more to do with lack of control than true unbelief. Cancer is a big thing but God does BIG things every day and He can do this too if He chooses. The hard part is not knowing if Him choosing fits into the bigger plan of what He has in store for Carl's life, your life and the lives of your family or the others his experience will affect. That's when trust has to take over and prayers have to go to asking God for the strength to handle whatever the outcome will be, while at the same time earnestly praying for total healing. You are all very much loved and cared about and yet God loves you all so much greater than our brains can even fathom. He is here alongside you, Jeanne, and alongside Carl and the kids.

Picture yourself running into His open arms and His arms holding you tight when the doubts and the fear seem to be more than you can stand. I honestly think waiting is one of the most difficult things we do, particularly when it deals with serious health issues. Many hugs for you all. Sorry we played phone tag today and I will call again tomorrow as we are getting ready to leave for the CHS girls high school basketball game.

Anonymous said...

As usual...I love your blog post. We have added Carl to the St. Agnes school prayer chain...and he is prayed for daily by the school and parish. We keep you all in prayer...always. Love you!

~Mary Langford~

Anonymous said...

Jeanne, I believe in your Bible quotations. I hope that there is a lot that the doctors can do for Carl.I remember when Luke's Dad had bone cancer in the mid-fiftys. Just think how far they have come in research and treatments. Back then there was no hope for this type of cancer. Just Believe and God will help. Cousin Barb

Anonymous said...

Jeanne,

just got in late last night from my fathers funeral. You are constantly in my heart and prayers. Phillipians 4:13 has been a great solace and comfort to me during me life, especially in times when asking God for something big. May this verse bring you comfort as well. Please know I am praying it for your family.
Love and prayers,
Lisa

HangingInThere said...

OK, Lisa, you made me look up Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything though him who gives me strength"

I've prayed for you and your father this weekend.

Michael said...

Jeanne,
Thinking of you, Carl, and your amazing family and holding all of you close in prayer...
(Our pastor says it's important to "remember who you are and whose you are." As you await test results, not knowing the answers, I hope you are comforted by knowing that you are God's and you are loved!)
With healing thoughts and much love,
Heidi