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Friday, January 21, 2011

Angiogram Day

(Please keep Carl in your prayers.)

Today Friday, Jan 20, 2011, is the day that Carl is having his Angiogram and procedure. And what a rough day the day has been already.

The children have no school today, just because -- I guess the reason given is that it is the end of the semester. (And Monday was a "holiday" as well.) So, ... I have to make arrangements for the children. This shouldn't be hard, but the children want to lounge around and play, not get up, shower, eat, etc. on any sort of (highly delayed) time schedule. I guess I thought that my children kind of understood that today, with their dad having a medical procedure, they might have some responsibilities beyond self gratification. The children kind of thought today would be "Saturday like" with the added bonus that there would be zero adult supervision. So, today I had children breaking all sorts of rules, well before the 'adults' (parents) even left. (The children don't consider that they have rules, they consider them "guidelines".) One rule/guideline - once you get up: Shower, get dressed, possibly eat breakfast, and if the Dog is barking for attention, put him outside. One "rule": Practise the piano before playing computer or "screen" games.

I think my children have only absolutes:
  • If any sibling is breaking any sort of rule, then you should also.
  • If the dog is barking to go outside, then someone else should put him outside.
  • If the phone rings, (even if you are expecting a call) someone else should answer it.
  • If mom starts to yell at ALL FOUR children to take a shower, you can gain bonus points by pushing others out of the way once you belatedly (1/2 hour later) decide it is time for you to comply with her request.
  • If mom starts to "yell", then children should pre-emptively yell.
  • If mom is yelling at any sibling, then other siblings should pre-emptively yell if she looks at them.
  • When mom lowers her voice and says "Do it now", then mom is yelling. Pre-emptively yell. If you are feeling teen-like, swear as well.
  • If an event is going to happen more then an hour in the future, you don't need to start getting ready.
I think I am probably being passive-aggressive here, but I hope that someday my children read this and think "That is SO UNFAIR". My Mom is not supposed to have any feelings other then a desire to make me ridiculously happy. My mom is not supposed to have any negative feelings at all. (Well, maybe at my siblings when they interfere with the world wide goal of me being ridiculously happy.) My mom is not supposed to require me to participate in any work required for the upkeep of the family, house, dog. (GOSH, isn't that what she is supposed to do? I mean, LIKE, isn't that her bleeping JOB?) 

I also hope that someday my children read this and think "That is SO UNFAIR". That is so unfair of my mom to use writing skills to vent her feelings. (We want writing to become obsolete, not used to remind our short term memories of negative things.) Writing is supposed to become obsolete, like hand-writing. Even the curriculum people know that. We keep telling mom that. OMG, DO I HAVE TO make MOM a power point? I'd TEXT her, but she won't even buy me a cell phone.) I know that the teachers have accepted that hand-writing is obsolete. The teachers don't even want to see our handwriting, because they can't read it. And neither can we. SO THERE.)

Well, I admit to my general audience here that I was stressed this morning, and my children did not come to my aid, but instead aggravated the situation. I know from personal experience that pre-emptive strikes do not work, and I know from personal experience that escalating hostilities are a natural human condition. 

Where was I. Oh yeah. Carl has a medical procedure today; children weren't cooperating; no-one wanted to walk the dog in the cold; dog poohed in the house; someone stepped in the pooh, no child wanted to find ground zero (Ground Zero here refers to the initial spot the dog poohed in.) Car stalled a couple of times; Car needed gas...

Oh, let's just fast forward to the hospital. 

The schedule we had been given was all geared for Monday's surgery. Not Friday's procedure. Where Friday's procedure is being done was not clear. Actually, since everything is computerized now, the computer printout had a column that says "Center". It has the Acronym "Radfec" Let's not spend any time helping the customer (patient) getting anything beyond a poor acronym. In fact, even the people filling out the computer form don't understand the acronym. And since the column heading 'center' doesn't really scream "Location", anyway, the data entry people will use the column 'Provider'. Perhaps that is the only field where they can type an entry. So, Provider will have "Ir 5 - FWC 2nd Fl". Yep, that will help our customer. No matter that it directly conflicts with Radfec.

You see, I have a four year engineering degree. (Not that I usually admit to it). I can speak (some) Acronym. So I know that ...

"Radfec" is probably Radiation or Radiology (two vastly different departments and locations) and fec is probably Froedtert East Clinic. (I know you readers recognized that right away.)

But everyone knows that Radiation wouldn't be located in Froedtert, it's in the connected building - the Cancer Center, so Rad can only be Radiology. Oh yeah, but not the X-Ray kind either, that is a TOTALLY different department, that's not really radiation anymore, that's, Oh never mind.

This then conflicts with "Ir 5 - FWC 2nd Fl" I believe Ir is Interventional Radiology. Well there, the customer (patient) should know right where that is. FWC (why the caps? Oh, punctuation, capitalization, all that stuff is obsolete or else it has a secret meaning that we won't bother you with...) FWC would (of course) be Froedtert West Clinic. And 2nd Fl - well second floor.

Well, F (Froedtert, for those not thinking acronym) is a big place, so the big people (administrators) labeled all the parts with East Clinics and West Clinics, even though it is a hospital, and an overnight hospital at that, so that there are a lot more then just clinics, but that's just... never mind. Anyway, (I think) Clinics are where you meet and greet your Dr, and Procedures are done elsewhere, (keep them doctors walking, it's part of our health care plan for them) but whatever....

I'm not conversant enough in acronym to know what the 5 means. I don't have advanced degrees. (Although I suspect it is the Ir room Carl is scheduled to have the procedure done in.)

Really, I should scan in our schedule. Oh well. We got lost, parked in the wrong area, walked back and forth, a lot, etc. Got Carl to where he should be. That's when we figured out that Friday's "procedure" is probably and almost bigger than Monday's surgery. Actually, an angiogram with an embolization procedure in the neck will require possibly more time than the surgery will. And Carl will need a general anesthetic, and ... But that can be for another post. Tah! (One of my friends uses Tah! instead of saying good bye...)

I hope all is going well with Carl's thing (angiogram with an embolization). They are hopefully about 2 hours into a four hour procedure.

Signed, Jeanne (Mistress of Laundry, Evil Mom).

1 comment:

Amy Cohen said...

You are a wonderful writer and documentarian (if that is not a word, it should be created just for you). Your sense of humor continues to see you and your family through. You have a lot of gifts! Keeping Carl and you all in my prayers!